Growing rice gets more support

Well, I guess we knew it was only a matter of time before women would be expected to produce more than just milk from their breasts.

Japan has just come out with the new rice bra – yes, it is actually a bra that grows rice. You strap on the two plastic cups that have soil and rice seeds in them, then add a little water from the hand-dandy water belt you have on and “just grow for it!”

“Why,” you might ask? Well, as the spokesperson for the designer Triumph said, “We wanted women to experience farming”.

Getting back to nature by growing rice on your chest

Really? This will help women experience farming more than say going to a farm and working the soil like in the old days? Well, I guess it is more convenient than going out to the farm, and if you’re a new mom, you can harvest the grains, add a little breast milk, and, presto! — you’ve got congee.

I don’t know about other women, but I think I’ll pass on the rice bra and here’s why:

• The ick factor — don’t you need worms for good soil growth? Do you really want chest worms?
• The ‘what will I wear over it’ factor — Will the Japanese make a Windowsill T-shirt to showcase the bra and keep me warm in winter?
• Second base disaster — When your new beau unclips your bra on his way to second base, he could literally destroy your whole crop.

Nope, not for me. Maybe I’m just bitter because Triumph turned down my idea for a Berry Widow. Hrmpf!